Triplets: Not for sale.

I hate yard sales. Always have. Always will. Yes, it is somewhat therapeutic to see all the crap that's been hiding behind my bulging closet door disappear into someone else's car-someone else's soon-to-be bulging closets. But nonetheless, I hate them.

1. Weather. It seems we always have yard sales when the temperatures hits the thousands. (okay, it was 104 today). So it's hot. Sitting in the garage watching sweat soaked people pour through our tasteless memories and knick-knacks, casting most of them aside, until discovering a most treasured "Duck Nut Cracker"(yes, that was really for sale, and four yard sales later, some lovely woman finally decided she couldn't live without it!) makes it even hotter.

2. The signs. Putting them out is kind of a hassle. This time, Brian and I had the great pleasure of placing them on the most high traffic street corners late at night, while arguing about which one is in fact, the most high traffic corner. In many cases, this decision was simply made based on whatever corner didn't already have 3 other yard sale signs on it. However, I will say this- our signs were much more clever. In case you had not already figured this out from photos in recent posts, my parents are getting divorced after 39 years...a topic which frankly, I could write a whole blog about, but I'll just keep it simple. Like All My Children's Erica Kane's talk show, our lives are simply about "New Beginnings" all around. So part of starting over means cleaning out. Which was the purpose for the sale. So...our signs did not say "yard sale." Oh no...they in fact, read "Divorce Sale." And I can confidently tell you that we got more traffic just out of pure curiosity. (I don't really know if people expected some kind of show or fight, or what, but many came just to see and all of them mentioned the signs. But really, it was just a yard sale. Nothing fancy. Except the frilly yellow cabbage patch doll dress. Which sold. For ten cents.

3. Haggling. I should never ever be left alone at the cash register. It's like I have a sign on that only the professional yard salers can see. It says, "I am weak. I don't like to argue. You can haggle with me and win. And leave me feeling like crap." I frankly just don't know how to win this one. We've kind of always followed the "mark it high to start, so when people ask for less, it will be okay" motto. But frankly, it doesn't make a darn bit of difference. People feel compelled to make me feel like I owe them my crap for free!! Seriously, two tiny gift boxes marked 5 cents each and the lady wants to know if I'll give her both of them for a nickel. ARE YOU FREAKIN KIDDING ME?? TEN CENTS, LADY! That's all I'm asking! Not a fortune. Just that sweaty silver dime in your money laden wallet. But go ahead. Have em for a nickel. And while you're at it, just go on into the house and help yourself to whatever you like in there. (I was so fed up at this point that while holding Hunter at the cash register, I actually uttered the phrase "I mean really, my triplets don't need to go to college.") Yeah, that's right. Those words, sarcastic tone and all, left my mouth...Yard sales bring out the worst in me. If you're my friend, please don't ever ask me to help you with a yard sale. I'll give away all your junk for free anyway....

And then there's the language thing. I get ripped off by people speaking English for crying out loud. God help me, when I get jipped in Spanish! (And not because our Spanish speaking customers are trying to be sneaky, but because I get too flustered to try and figure out what is being asked! ) Luckily, my sister married a fluent Spanish Speaker, my yard sale hero, as it would be. We really ought to pay him a translator's fee so that I no longer accidentally sell the prized antique rocking chair for $1.55. Emilio, I will never do a yard sale without you.


But okay, there were a few upsides to this yard sale. Food. Dunkin Donuts from Brian (that torch got passed to him from my dad) and all kinds of delicious casseroles and sandwiches from my Auntie Donna who is now living at the homestead! She can cook, and she doesn't mess around. It was like having a gourmet meal all day long. Auntie Donna, I will never do a yard sale without you either.

And I'd by lying if I said it wasn't somewhat interesting to watch what people take and what they don't. Honestly. Infant Car Seats in great condition remained while a bag of silk fall leaves sells. Or the $5 desk that remained, but the Rudolph Hot Cocoa set sold. Yes Dad. It sold! The Bunchkins thank you for that one. Anyway...it's simply fascinating. Nowhere is the phrase "one man's junk is another man's treasure" more true than at a yard sale.

Okay and a huge thank you to Rosey and Bob. You both made life so much easier today! We appreciate you both!

And here's the other fun thing. This was the first yard sale for the Bunchkins. We set up the "Hamster Cage" (baby gates) in the garage and threw some blankets down for the babies to crawl on along with a giant basket of their toys. Let's just say they drew quite the attention from yard salers galore! They're just so good natured and typically love people anyway, so I think they enjoyed the attention too! I even met another mother of triplets, though hers were 7 years old! But what fun! It's not everyday you meet a mother of triplets! But the babies weren't JUST there for show. They earned their keep. They modeled high chairs and exersaucers so that our potential customers could see these items in action. (The baby equivalent of plugging in the 1992 VCR to see if it actually works. )

Hunter and Ethan playing inside and outside of the "hamster cage."

She tore off the "TRIPLETS: Not for Sale" sign!

Filthy, dirty, little girl feet.

So anyway that was our Saturday. We got rid of a ton of stuff, made a decent amount of money, hung out, ate great food and people-watched. Not too shabby...Enjoy these photos from the rest of our day!

Lunch Time!

Having a smorgasbord of treats!

Sitting at the big boys' chair

Ethan is my child for sure. Lovin him a boston creme donut! Don't judge me. :)

Forget it, Colton...no offer would be great enough!

Rollin in the dough!

Auntie Donna, Chef Extraordinaire! I'm sure she will hate this photo but somehow it's the only picture I got of her!

The Boys: Emilio and Ethan...Brian and Colton

This is the face Colton made when he saw Crazy Ethan doing this.....

That's my crazy boy!

Wearin' my Uncle 'Milo's baseball cap!

Colton wearing Daddy's ball cap!

And yes, friends, we decided to begin Colton's modeling career a bit earlier than anticipated..Check out the pose! And the "naturally flowing hair!"

I'm too sexy for my yard sale...

And that, my friends was our day. Now I'm home, typing this blog, EX-HAUST-ED!! I hope you enjoyed our day. And I hope you've enjoyed yard saling with us!