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Thursday, January 14, 2010

They're mine! I swear!!

Ok this will be a short post. No pictures, even. I just had this funny experience today, one which you really wish another adult had been present for so you could laugh and say "Seriously?" But all who were in my company were under the age of 1 and don't talk yet. Or they had black fur and four legs. So pretty much, no luck.

Anyway, I went to my mom's house after work today to pick up the babies, like I always do on Wednesdays and Thursdays. When I got there, all three were still napping and my mom was out to the door to her exercise class. Which meant that when they woke up, I was on my own to pack them up and get them loaded into my car to go home.

So here's the scene: The garage was empty, because my mom had driven her car to class. However, the garage door was open, because I was obviously in the process of bringing the babies outside, to MY Durango. Usually, I just lug all three carseats one at a time out through the door from the laundry room into the garage. When I do that though, I fight for space with Piper, my dog who is panic stricken that I'm going to forget her, so it's nearly impossible to get out that door without stepping on feet (and paws.) So today I decided to take them out the front door instead.

I planned ahead, like always, and brought my purse, Piper and the babies' bag out to the car first so that as soon as the last baby was brought out, we could just go! But-there's a bit of a safety issue at hand when you're alone trying to shuffle 3 babies to your car. You can't leave a baby outside by itself if you can't see it, right? Okay, so imagine you're watching this scene unfold from the outside somewhere...

First, I lugged both boys out together and set them in their carseats at the end of the walkway, in front of the open garage. Then, literally, I walk backward back into the house to get Hunter, without taking my eyes off the boys. I'm looking from side to side as I walk, looking for any strangers in the neighborhood. (I have a very weird fear of someone taking one of my children. Ok, that's probably not a weird fear now that I think about it.)

So I get to the house and I grab Hunter and hurriedly place her with the boys. (Remember, you're watching this scene unfold before you...) Now here's the dilemma. I have to go back through the front door, lock it and run out through the laundry room door to leave. But it means I have to take my eyes off the babies for about 3 seconds. I figure I'm in pretty good shape. If someone tries to take one of my kids in a 3 second span of time, they wouldn't get far. Oh, and I'd kick the sh** out anyone who tries to mess with my babies. Just ask my husband. I'll freakin karate chop them. (inside joke). I don't really know karate.

So I lock the front door and race for the laundry room door. I throw the door open with the ferocity of a mother lion protecting her cubs, half expecting to see someone standing over my children. Which, of course, there wasn't. :) Now, it's at this point, that I see a youngish mother, one I've never seen before, walking her daughter in a stroller. She is walking in my direction, and at this point I figure she has seen the whole process...crazy woman rapidly bringing children out of a house with a clearly empty garage, running, looking in all directions, putting children in a car. As she passes me, I am polite and say hello, but continue loading babies..(I'm very used to people gawking at us, at this point in our lives) But as she passes me I notice that she is still looking back at me every few seconds.

Now, there are two possible options here:

Number 1. She can't believe I really have this many infants. (usually the case, but this time, I feel like that's not her only thought...)

Number 2. And this didn't come to me until I had baby number 3 loaded, SHE THINKS I'M KIDNAPPING THESE BABIES!!

As she continues to walk past us, at a significantly slower pace, it's almost as though I can see her checking the time on her watch, making note of the make and model of my car, and I swear to you, as I drove away, she looked back one last time perhaps to get a look at my license plate...you know, in case the lead story on the five o'clock news is about a crazy mother who kidnapped 3 infants.

Isn't that ironic? My whole crazy plan was centered around MY fear of someone else kidnapping my kids, and it played out to an innocent bystander as though I was a crazy person kidnapping someone else's kids!!! I seriously wanted to stick my head out the window and yell, "Yes! They're my kids! All 3 of them!!"

Oh well...if she's there next Thursday, she'll see the whole thing again! This time, I might strike up a friendly conversation, perhaps share some ultrasound photos, hospital bracelets, whatever...


Anabelle said...

I almost chocked when I read you thought SHE thought YOU were kidnapping the babies. First of all, who would kidnap THREE babies?!?! I often have that thought when I fly with Jaxon, as if I'm fleeing the state with him or somthing.
Secondly, Does it make me a bad mom that I often leave Jaxon in his carseat in our garage while the car is running because I forgot something in the house??

kershner3 said...

I always lock the car door if I have to go back inside after I have them all 3 buckled in the car. Recently, though, Kara has started using her foot to unlock the door. She also locks the door just before I try to open it to get her out. She thinks it's hilarious:)

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